MOURNING : By Guest Blogger and friend Janora Parker

After reading Rabbi Brickner’s “When the Rhododendron Died”, Chapter III of Finding God in the Garden, my thoughts started pouring in – I could not stop them.

Have you ever stopped to think just how much time is spent mourning something or someone? We mourn our youth, our what might have beens. We mourn the loss of what we used to be. We mourn our aging parents and long for what they used to be – for the role they no longer fill in our life, the son or daughter that we should have /could have been. We mourn marriages, divorces, deaths, and sometimes, births. We mourn our children growing up. We mourn deceased pets, lost opportunities, trips we never took, on and on, the list is endless.

As Rabbi Brickner points out, it is good to mourn, grieve, feel anger, come to acceptance and move forward. Just because we replace what we are mourning does not make us flawed, cold hearted and uncaring - it just means that we are human and we live on for as long as we have, being present, doing the best that we can with what we have right here, right now. We never forget what once was – that person, place or thing is always with us. It is what has shaped us and made us who we are - loving, creative, beautiful beings of light.

JHP 01/25/2011

Let Go Of Your Undewear

Sometimes I realize a lesson in the strangest of places. Last night I had a BFO while supposedly going through my underwear drawer in my annual attempt to let go of old and unused items in my life. However I discover that for me that perhaps meant letting go of familiar and comfortable things in our lives. We all know what I am talking about. We all have those really comfortable underwear that have seen better days. The elastic is shot so the support is gone. Perhaps a hole or two around the waist band adds to the disrepair. Still there I stood folding them and putting them right back in the far back of the drawer to be used just when every other pair was dirty, or in some other “emergency” situation.

Let us admit the truth most of us do not like letting go of our stuff. We are not only physical hoarders but in many case we are mental hoarders as well. We hold on to things that are long past the expiration date. Think about the last time you reached in the fridge for a carton of milk and realized the expiration date was past. Did you pour it down the drain, or did you smell check it first? Sometimes it passes the nose test and we think heck its good for a couple more days. How many times have you gone through a pile of your clothing and decided to keep the too small jeans because you were thinking about going on a diet and losing weight. As a friend recently said to me “let them go they will make more.” Just last night I washed and put back into the cabinet a frying pan that is truly scratched beyond safe usage. The tragic part is I put it back on top of the brand new never used one I purchased 3 years ago. Seriously what the heck am I waiting on? Let it go and start using the new one  which  will if nothing else allow more space in my overfilled cabinet.

Mental hoarding is killing us. Let go of the past. Let go of real or perceived slights by friends and family members. A mistake was made perhaps, but does you making the mistake of holding on to the anger make it better. No it simply makes another mistake. I am not saying that we have to be all hugs and kisses about the people in our past or even in our present, but I am saying that we need to let it go and move on. Clear a space for the new and better in all areas of our lives.

Next step is our relationships. Alan Cohen says that relationships happen for “a reason, season or a lifetime.” We only get in trouble when we try to force a reason into a lifetime. Enjoy your relationships for the time we have them. Trust me the universe will let you know when it is time to release a relationship. The truly hard part is learning to listen to the universe and your own heart. I have often made the statement that I would much rather have a few really good friends than a multitude of acquaintances’. Now that it not to say that a relationship that has run it’s course as say lovers cannot change and grow into a lifetime of a best friend. Just listen to what the heart is saying and have the courage to say good bye when and if necessary.

I guess that is about all I have to say today cause I have to get busy clearing out space for whatever the new year and new life brings my way. So I guess I am saying is  it's time to let go of the underwear…they will make more.

Live, Love, and Laugh out loud.

Dmr 1/20/11

The Future Is Now

Is it just me or do the songs that we listened to in our youth really seem to have a lot more meaning now than they did perhaps back then?

Last night while I was  driving home and listening to a local “oldies” station a song came on that I first heard almost 35 years ago. Now as a brand new teenager of 13 I loved the song had the album…yes the LP and I played it over and over enough times to drive my friends crazy. The song was Fly Like and Eagle by the Steve Miller Band and the opening lyrics were as follows.

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'
Into the future
Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'
Into the future

So there I was driving down the highway and probably singing along and out loud, maybe even groovin a little when I realized what those lyrics were saying to me. Time does not stand still for anyone. Time does not slow down. Time indeed keeps on slipping into the future.

 Many of us have spent most of our lives either planning for the future or living a life of when and if. As in when I get a promotion, or more education, a nicer car, a perfect relationship or any of an endless list of things that we use that prevents us from living in the present moment and enjoying our lives today

. I know that I have been doing it for way to long, and one of my goals in the New Year is to start living for today. To recognize, embrace and enjoy the multitude of wonderful people and things in my life. Yes I have dreams, desires, and goal that I want to manifest in my life, but I am not going to sit around waiting for them before living my life with an open and honest heart and soul allowing for all my good to come to manifestation.

Wake up people and go for the gusto. Dream big, and act big. Because as the Steve Miller Band said 35 years ago……

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'
Into the future
Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'
Into the future

As always live, love, laugh often and out loud.

Dmr 1/7/2011

2DAZBFO

"May the sun bring you new energy by day, may the moon softly restore you by night, may the rain wash away your worries, may the breeze blow new strength into your being. May you walk through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life." - Apache Blessing

2DAZBFO

It's when we're light and happy that we attract our perfect reflection to mirror what we are. To see our wholeness is to see everyone whole and happy. May we always see others as we wish to see them. Then, we'll be gazing at ourself. – Peter Ragnar

Just Say No. End of Discussion

We’ve all been there. Just sitting and waiting for a plane to take off. Hearing but paying no attention what so ever as the flight attendants mime the safety lectures, even though it could mean life or death in the event of a crash. So there I sat safely buckled in fidgeting in anticipation of take off when I was struck by a universal 2 x 4 by something the flight attendant had just said.

She was demonstrating how to use the oxygen mask the automatically deploy should the cabin lose pressure. After demonstrating how to properly put the mask onto you face and secure it the last statement resonated with me. “Please be sure to secure your own mask before attempting to help others.” Now there is a statement that should be in life lesson 101. So for the next 2 hours my mind was blur thinking about how so many times I have attempted to help someone else even while perhaps ignoring my own signals as to what was good for me.

So I made a resolution there and then that in 2011 I would become much more cognizant of how I felt and what I thought as opposed to putting so many others feelings and thoughts ahead of mine. Now I know you are thinking “geez what a self centered jackass”, but I am afraid that we have all been taught bad lessons from perhaps well meaning people. Our parents are the first to express how important others feeling are to us. Then our school teachers continue the process and it just goes on and on till suddenly you wake up at 48 years of age and have a huge BFO (Blinding Flash of the Obvious). There is nothing wrong with being centered in self. The distinction is perhaps a matter of semantics, but I have to be centered in self and balanced in life, before I can even hope to help someone else. No more saying yes to things that you really don’t want to do just because a friend, lover, parent, sibling or whoever wants you to.

Someone once said to me the “no” was a complete statement. No thank you is a polite statement, but when someone wants something you are not willing to provide then my friends “no” is a complete statement. No explanations needed. Do not say no and then start adding words like because, or maybe. If you truly do not wish to participate in something end the discussion by firmly and politely saying the word no. End of discussion and move on.

Ladies and gentlemen in the case of emergency oxygen mask will be deploy from the overhead bin…please be sure to secure you own mask before helping others.

Live, Love, and Laugh long and often.

DmR 1/5/2011